YOUR DADDY ISSUES WILL REFLECT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN

Daddy issues is a huge problem. It destroys a lot of things before they really even start, or maybe everyone is just reflecting to me what I need to heal, and that's my inner child wounds towards my dad.

What are daddy issues? "According to Healthline, daddy issues are a pseudo-psychology term that refers to females’ attachment needs, such as avoidant or anxious attachment styles. If a woman grows up without a consistent father figure, this could lead to a fearful-avoidant, dismissive-avoidant, insecure attachment style later in adulthood or adult relationships." via wordcounter.com

If your dad was absent, inconsistent, unavailable, emotionally unavailable, you are most definitely suffering from daddy issues, and this is why you are having a hard time finding a relationship that is consistent.

Before I was healed, I was obsessed with chasing a man, I was obsessed with mysterious, and mean men. I was obsessed with the dysfunctional relationship, the inconsistency. I used to call that love because that was "love" in my childhood days. I saw my parents consistently fighting. They were distant, barely even showing each other any type of love or affection. They barely got along, so in my eyes this was normal behavior because this is what I grew up witnessing. That a man is suppose to hurt you, scream at you, belittle you, and everything will be okay after that.

I also thought that my dad loved me, because he would say it. But the reality is that, there was no actions behind it proving it. That's why it was very easy for me to believe that people loved me because my parents would say it without really proving it. I learned to accept the bare minimum as love, and this is why it was easy for people to breadcrumb me. All they had to say is, they loved me, and I truly believed it. People consider to love you, but won't back up anything to prove that. They will be distant, emotionally unavailable, judging you, verbally abusing you, domestically abusing you, having secret animosity, and more. I learned that now actions are way louder than words and if they're not aligning with each other, then they're lies somewhere in your statement.

What I learned is that a lot of the men I was dating, or attracting was reflecting to me all the wounds that needed to be healed. I was attracting narcissists, sociopaths, or even the nice guys who wanted to love me so badly, but I was so dysfunctional and I did not trust a man. I ended up ruining those relationships myself, because those types of men where to good to be true in my eyes. I let those types of relationships slip through my hands, because I did not feel secure enough to deserve that type of love. I liked the love where I felt worthless because that's how I am used to feeling. God will give you one time to not trust him, for him to remove himself from the situation and help you understand on your own. That's what happened to me, I left the good boy, for a bad one, and my whole perspective was shifted.

I understood, I was mentally ill, and had issues that need fixing. I found out that toxic love is not real love. Toxic love is abuse, and a cry for help. You do not realize that your subconscious mind loves the rush that it gets when it's in a toxic relationship, because it feels like home. Which was your home, when you were growing up. This is why you like the bad boys, because it is familiar, and that feeling of familiarity is coming from your dad. You like men who are abusive and mean because that's exactly what your dad was, you're more comfortable with something that you know, rather than something that you don't know, and this is why you push all the nice "boring" men away. They do not excite your brain, like the toxic one does. We call them "boring" because they are healthy, and loves you in healthy ways, that your father never did.

Daddy issues is a huge problem, that needs attention, because not only is this your love life, it will be your kids life and love life too, if it isn't healed with you first. One thing, I have learned is, I need to learn love and study it. I need to find love for myself, I need to love myself so my kids won't ever have to deal with a toxic, draining father who doesn't take care of their needs. I need to learn love so my kids doesn't have to deal with an unloving mother. My goal is to be the best mother, and provide for my kids.

When you think about your daddy issues, you should try to heal it, you should nurture your inner child, start taking care of the child in you first, before you think about having kids. You may not think you have a child inside of you because you're in adulthood, but you indeed do. That's where the creativity comes in, that's where the toxic behaviors and way of thinking comes in because your subconscious mind hasn't really grown up yet, due to the amount of trauma's you have faced. This is why a lot of the men you meet, act like little boys, with a little boy mentality, they haven't payed attention to their inner child, just like you.

Ways that I have healed my inner child, was to stop running away from it. Face it.