HOW TO GET RID OF SELF SABOTAGING BEHAVIORS

I can only tell you how I got rid of my self sabotaging behaviors. This might not work for everyone. But it worked for me.

Basically, when I was insecure, I was doing a lot of things to ignore my inner pains. I was going out every night, partying, drinking, smoking my life away, doing drugs and constantly helping everyone else's with their issues and problems. I was so neglectful from my own issues, they started to pile up every time I would purposely ignore them. After days, months and years of holding this huge bag of emotions, pain and traumas. It was weighing me down. I was constantly full of rage, anger and sadness. Couldn't look myself in the eyes or barely even told myself I am beautiful or that I love myself. Truth is I didn't.

I was too busy trying to use outside sources to cure a problem, when the truth is, no one really knows how to fix me. Not even I. I think that's what hurts the most. When you spend so much time, trying to build others up to make sure they're good and you're literally dying inside. You have no energy left, and if you do it's for crying or complaining. I realized my life was going down hill because of the self sabotaging behaviors I was doing.

You have to realize when enough is enough. You can't take on everyone's request. You can't be everyone's shoulder to lean on. You can't jump when people say to jump. You can't be everyone's person. You need to be your own. You have to put your needs above theirs. You have to set real boundaries even if it's cutting off that friend. You need to stop giving your energy away so freely. You need to stop saying "Yes" so easily to sex, even when you really want to say "No". I know how hard it is to build up a wall, when everyone is so used to you doing everything for them. But you have to build up that wall until you have all your energy back.

It was God who made my behaviors change drastically, by humbling and forcing me to leave those situations, because he knows how huge my heart is and how hard it was for me to say "No." to people. He also showed me people's TRUE and REAL colors and it opened my eyes tremendously, and made it so much easier to walk away. He also told me, if I don't choose myself, I'll be living for everyone else for the rest of my life. So what I am saying is... what is God saying to you? You probably neglect the daily signs that you see because you have a huge heart, or have an attachment to these negative people, because you're used to helping others to void helping yourself. Have God been trying to show you signs? Have you been ignoring them? Have you been neglecting them, and putting them off for a later day? When we do that, we enhance our chance to get karma. Especially, other people's karma. You could of been a complete Angel, but if you're sticking besides a demon, you're going to get that demon's karma, regardless if you're a sweet soul or not. You have to listen to signs. You need to understand them, and use your intuition to see what God is really trying to say. Most of the time, it's to let those who no longer serves you go. To let those habits that no longer serves you go. To let that job who's been eating up your hours go. To let everyone from your past life GO.

In order to have a new healthy life, you have to leave those who knows you as your "old self". Those people are never going to understand that you can change. They are never going to understand why you changed, or how you changed. They're going to continue to try to keep you from rising because they feel like they aren't able. They'll always try to show you your old self because they liked you better when it was easier to walk all over you, or when you were on the same level. But you get separated from these people because sometimes, you have to be the one to show them, and that's why God is working extra hard with you, and not them.

The first step to losing self sabotaging behaviors, is to be aware of them! To understand that you're not okay, and you need to work on you. And working on you means, being alone and alone for a really long time. Isolation will make you extremely successful. Trust me. It could feel painful at first because you're so used to being a shoulder to cry on. You'll feel empty not being able to be everyone's doormat to step on because it's what you're used too. But after that long draining phase of letting go. You'll start to realize being isolated was the best thing that could have ever happened for your growth.

The second step, is actually letting go. This means deleting your old friends, especially the ones that doesn't mean you well. Changing your number, privating your social medias, deleting your social medias, letting go of the feeling of "wanting to be seen" or getting "attention". Letting go the habit of posting your entire life on social media. Keeping the best things a secret, becoming your own best friend, and not letting everyone has access to you. The less people you give access too, the less they'll be able to sabotage you or your plans. The less eyes you'll have on you. Trust me those lingering eyes who stalk your life, is not a good feeling when you're trying to get out of that people pleasing era. It's better to not be seen or heard because then you won't have other peoples energy interfering with yours. I also recommend to spend less time on social media, even if you're just following celebrities, their energy can ruin yours, due to comparing your journey to theirs.

Next, I recommend to actually heal. Just because these people are out your life now, doesn't mean a band-aid is on it, and all your dreams are going to come true. Nope! You need to do that inner work. You need to find the root of all your traumas. You have to ask yourself, where are these behaviors coming from? When did it start, and why? How can I get better? How can I acknowledge them? Most of the time, when you're hurting and stuffing all of the traumas in the back of your head. You don't even know where to start. But that's where you used your intuition. Your intuition (God's way of communicating with you) will help you throughout this whole process. God will also send you signs in the strangest ways. Sometimes it's music, TV, commercials, or even a conversation you're having with your mom. Then everything will start to align with you. You'll be able to understand what's hurting you and why! I recommend to do shadow work. Shadow work, is the best way that I healed. I looked up some shadow work questions on Pinterest and started writing. I also started writing how I was feeling every time I had a negative emotion. Where was this feeling coming from? Who was I thinking of at the time when I felt this emotion? Did this person cause me pain and how? Everything would start to show itself to you. Even in your dreams. This is why I really recommend to stop smoking and using substances to heal because the substances are blocking your connection, with God. You won't be able to hear what he's saying to you, or see what he's showing to you because your third eye is blocked and so is your intuition. Weed makes your anxiety worse and everything will start feeling like it's against you, instead of with you. Trust me, giving up weed was one of the hardest things to do. But for my higher self? I will.

Next step, is to step outside. Go outside. Listen to the wind. Sit by a lake. Go for a walk. Go for a jog. Look around you. Look infront of you. God will send you crazy signs with just the simple thing like nature. You'll see the same animals often. Or that same sound coming from the same bird. You'll see the ocean move towards you, or the wind holding you a little tighter. As you're talking aloud, you'll see the trees respond or the wind gets more powerful. There's power in you, so start using your powers when it comes to the Universe. It's God responding, he's always listening even if you aren't connected to him right now, he's connected to you, and he will send you so many signs to let you know that.

Next step, is finding out about yourself more. You may not even know who you really are because you were so busy trying to take care of other people who never met the real you. Who's never even known who you are because you really spend so much time trying to better their lives. Find out who you are. What do you like? What makes you happy? What's a talent of yours? What do you enjoy doing? What are you afraid to do? What do you really want to do? What do you want from your life? Start to connect with yourself. Start investing in yourself. Start coming back to yourself. Once you minimize the noise around you, that inner child starts talking! When I cut everyone off, I realized that I can rap, sing, write music, create, make art, become a content creator, edit, motivational speaker, and OVERALL A GOOD PERSON! You won't feel that way about yourself when you are constantly being put down by these "so called" friends. They'll steal your light and energy and try so hard to attack your character. You forget that you're a walking goddess or king! Find out who you are because you are a creator, God made you so you can create. So start finding out what your soul mission is here on this beautiful earth!

Next, and last step is, GOD. Having a connection with God. Start speaking to him. Start praying. Starting talking to him. Start reading the Bible. Start listening to his word. Because then you'll be full of freedom and peace. The enemy could never make you feel any type of way about yourself. You won't feel insecure, you won't feel like a failure. You won't feel lost because you have God by your side. Protecting you, guiding you, and inspiring you to be a better person for yourself and Him. Having a connection with God was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It made me feel less alone, and more heard. I started to see my manifestations come to life. I started to feel at peace and less angry. I am able to become consistent and less distant. Out of everything on this list. Having a connection with God is the main one. You need God to be successful in this life time.