FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS

I think it is very important to forgive your parents, for everything that they put you through. Everything, because when you don't, you end up suffering way more by repressing your pain, trauma, and anger.

A lot of us has faced some sort of trauma in our lives, where we never got an apology for it, no one has ever took responsibility. No one has ever had accountability on a role that they have played in your life. Some parents do not even believe that they were even toxic towards you. Some parents don't believe that they weren't absent. They felt like you should of vented to them the entire time, but never gave you room to do that. Some parents are the reason why you're battling insecurity. Some parents are the root of your personality disorder. Some parents play a huge role in how you view yourself, and others, and a lot of us are suffering in our relationships with friends, and lovers because we do not know how to properly maintain a relationship.

No matter what they put you through. You have to forgive them, even if they never physically said sorry.

Let me tell you why, because when you are holding on to past traumas, you are holding on to resentment, anger, and grief towards a person, or a situation. It does nothing besides hurt you more. I say this because truly I was always blaming my dad for not showing me what real love was when it came to a relationship with a man. I always ended up attracting partners that only wanted to use me for sexual purposes. They never wanted to love me, and it only opened my father wounds, and made it worse. The truth is, my inner child who was never healed or looked at was looking for a man to really replace my dad, and that's the real tea. Most men, do not want that responsibility, because most men don't even know what love is themselves, and they end up providing you more pain, then you had before. Then the cycle repeats, and repeats until you understand, what you need to heal inside of you.

The truth is, you need to forgive those who didn't know how to love you when you were a child, so you can move on with grace, and find that love within yourself. We all wonder, how that one girl or guy have that healthy relationship, with love and consistency? It's because they were either born into love, or had to discover it themselves. Good people aren't easy to find anymore, because most people are buried in their pain and trauma, and refuses to let it go. But, I am telling you, LET IT GO.

Let it go, it is not worth your stress. It is not worth your tears. It is not worth the repeated cycles. It is not worth the years of suffering that you're adding on to your life over something that you cannot change, or erase. But what you can change, is the future. You can change your relationship moving forward. You can accept the apology that was never given. You know you didn't do anything wrong. You were a child, that needed love and was neglected in that aspect. Don't ever blame yourself for your situations. Don't blame yourself if it doesn't work out as planned. But you did what you needed to do on your behalf, and that was forgiving the other person for hurting you. You do not need to hear someone saying I am sorry. You do not need someone to change their behaviors, if they do not want to do that for themselves. Remember, people are not going to change for you. They have to want to change for themselves.

If your parents still want to partake in negative behavior, negative ways of thinking, or treating you badly. It is not going to hold you back, because you did the right thing by forgiving and letting it go. Just like how God could forgive you, during your darkest sins, it's good to forgive those that we love. Even if you have to love them from a distance. What I learned is, I cannot control what others do, what others think of me, or how others live their life. But I can control how I chose to respond to, or how I let it affect me.

Be proud of that growth, because trust me, it is not easy, but it is a start for healing, and moving forward in your life. You might even find yourself building a beautiful relationship with yourself, which will attract all the beautiful relationships you need to fulfill your inner child. Do not worry, you have time, but don't waste it on old wounds.